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After yesterday’s daily render, I decided I didn’t want to do another last-minute, slapped-together, open-an-old-scene-file-and-barely-change-it daily render like that one—like so many have been.
Is this all I’m doing now? No, I should take a break.
I haven’t been doing comics, because I haven’t been writing. I haven’t kept my deviantART subgalleries organized, which makes that side of things even more a mess. I probably need to fix tags on other sites, too. I need to actually work on that stuff, not just slap up a new(ish) image every day.
And if I don’t, well, maybe that’s because I don’t care. After a while, the daily renders burned me out, I think—if I ever cared.
Doing the daily renders wasn’t a mistake. But I feel like it was a mistake continuing to do them after I said I was walking away from them.
For quite a while, I thought “this” was what I wanted to do. But what is “this”?
Is it a webcomic? Because right now, I really don’t feel like I can do a webcomic, and I kind of don’t believe I want to do.
Is it just these little renders? No one cares, Nia, not even you. You’re tired of it, and barely trying, and that’s been the case for a while.
I am tired. I’m tired of working in a medium which receives an endless amount of contempt. I’m tired of feeling foolish when I call myself an artist. I’m tired of having an output driven more by my general laziness and distraction from it.